Text Messages #8

I haven't done one of these in a LONG time. But I have been saving up texts, so there are lots to read over in this one. I put a jump link at the bottom, so it wouldn't overtake my entire blog - make sure you click "Read More" to see them all. Enjoy!

From Caity, regarding work:

Work is so boring I've resorted to speaking in a british accent.

From Lauren, and her irrational hatred of foliage:

Ugh. I was doing my crossword and pine trees is one of the answers. My night is ruined. I hate pine trees.

From Aubrey, mocking me:

oh man, the sock hop is lively, we need your tribal white man dance up in hurr.

From Ariel, regarding Facebook:

Your face is on the Highlights of my facebook. YOUR WHOLE FACE. Which makes it one of the Highlights of my weekend.

From Ariel, when UCLA had some visitors:

Whoops, I must have been mistaken. I thought I was going to class on a [college] campus, but clearly this is a playground for ten thousand first graders.

From Aaron, regarding lunch:

i dont know what's going on with this day... im behind a stoned guy at subway [drooling] over the counter as he orders and going "yeeeaah" with [each] ingredient added"

From Caity, regarding Star Wars:

There's a COOKBOOK. Wookie Cookies and other galactic recipes. Holy wow.

From My Mother, when I was contemplating getting a Mac:

What r u smoking?

From Aubrey, while waiting in line for breakfast:

there better be a diamond buried in my scrambled eggs.

From Aubrey, regarding the integrity of UCLA Housing's infrastructure:

yay! someone tried to press the up elevator button on my floor and a flame/smoke came out! hooray!

From Courtney, regarding music in Africa:

I'm driving thru the African bush and foreplay/long time is on. Cue my awesome solo here. Where the Heck are my drums?!?!

Ok so after that last text... the next song that came on was Wanted Dead or Alive. No joke!! And I couldn't text you because I was out of service!! I died inside.

From Caity, mixing Disney with Harry Potter:

Jafar is definitely a Slytherin.

Actually i decided he's a poser. Slytherins always win. Jafar definitely failed.

From Alex N., regarding WeHo:

I'm drunk. I don't know. THere's a man on stilts dressed as a tree and I'm scared

From Alex N., regarding a kid with a pukka shell necklace:

Tell him 1998 Hollister called and it wants its jewelry back.

From Caity, regarding Comic-Con:

Oh my gosh I'll totally bring my robes! With my lightsaber AND wand I'll be unstoppable.

It's like epic darkness no matter what! No jedi OR gryffindor stands a chance. Heh.

From Caity, regarding cars:

Okay fine. So what if corvettes are sexy... I can't believe I just admitted that.

Oh i'm just driving along and as i look to my right i think "Dang, that car is pretty hot, oh CRAP it's a corvette! Eff." and that's that. Hahaha

From Aubrey, regarding food:

sometimes, in the dining hall, i can see a serving dish with something yellow and mushy in it. on a good day, its mac and cheese. on a bad day, its corn. today was corn.

From Caity, on the way to the HP:HBP premiere (with a picture):

Yes i did draw a dark mark on my left forearm :)

From Caity, at the HP:HBP premiere:

I JUST GOT HIT IN THE FACE WITH A BEACH BALL. IN THE THEATRE.

From Ariel, regarding magic:

David Copperfield just made me disappear!

From My Sister, regarding Twilight:

i like both but not jacob with long hair... if theres any with short hair i like that.. otherwise i really like edward too :) its kinda equal :)

From Ariel, regarding stupid radio checks:

[Building] duty, your radio sounds FRIGGIN FANTASTIC!

[Building] duty, meow.

From Lauren, bashing U$C:

Best statement ever: someone just told me he chose USC over UCLA like the rest of his family cause he didn't want to take the sats. He says they don't care @ USC.

From Zach, randomly texting me one night:

does jigglypuff need a moonstone to evolve into wigglytuff?

From Alex L., when the power went out in the apartment over summer:

Omg yes! Find something solid iron, salt the doors and windows, and listen for scratching sounds. Be careful.

From Aubrey, regarding fiscal responsibility:

during these rough economic times, its nice to see a dinner ordered for the chancellor's residence with salmon, caviar, brie-stuffed artichoke, and grand marnier chocolate mousse.

From Christina Lee, regarding our Vegas adventure last year:

Ha ha yeah that was quite a drive... As in the longest drive ever. As in Yayyy lets do it again this year!

From Ariel:

Way to bring back the awkward donkey. Always a classic.

From Aaron, regarding football:

awful. no blocking. none! i play racquet sports and i know better than this!!

From Caity, regarding clothing:

I'm wearing my Darth Vader socks today and i feel so powerful.

From Alex N., regarding building demographics:

De neve RAs are complaining about having 40 first years. Die.

From My Youngest Brother:

Ahoy mateys! today be talk like a pirate day.. so drink up me hearties n let the rum be flowin. have a good day at sea. A pirates life for me! arrr!

From Matt D., regarding the Day of Service:

I've got 21 people raking a large area with a single rake and single broom. What are you doing??

From Ariel, regarding their Day of Service instructions:

"You're going to go to the basement. You're going to look for a guy named Jimmy."

From Ariel, regarding academic excellence:

Day 2 and I've already fallen asleep in a class. Go me.

From Ariel, regarding awareness of surroundings:

I just walked into my screen. FAIL.

From Aubrey, regarding school:

ahaha omg, one of the kids in my moms 2nd grade class threw a computer and printer and broke them, and ten punched the principal in the face. good times.

From Aubrey, regarding the lack of corn in De Neve:

MUAHAHAHAHA when i become chancellor, there will never be corn again!!!

From Aaron, regarding motorcycles:

i can ride a motorcycle! (in a parking lot at 5 miles per hour in first gear)

i passed the riding test! im getting my license in 2 weeks =)

From Ariel, regarding entertainment:

Lol for some reason putting a gameboy and wine together seems weird.

From Aaron, regarding Chargers QB Philip Rivers against the Denver Broncos:

got sacked bro

The following are texts I received on my 21st birthday:

From My Sister:

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY!!! YAY!! I LOVE YOU!!! <3 <3 <3

From Natalie R.:

Happy 21st Jeremy!!! I hope its an awesome year for you and how could it not be? Youre 21!!!

From Courtney (RIGHT at midnight, my time - impressive!):

U better be drunk & ready 2 make bad decisions. Happy bday jer. Wish i was there to see u become a man. I'll buy u a drink soon. Love u! Dispatch copy!

From Alex N. (at 2am):

If you can read and understand this message now, then YOU'RE NOT DOING IT RIGHT. If it is Saturday morning and you hate your life, then CONGRATS!!!!!

From My Dad:

so, have you recovered yet?